To be a writer

In one of his books, probably Αναφορά στον Γκρέκο, Nikos Kazantzakis says something like, “To be a monk, you must love God to the point of absolute fanaticism; otherwise, your mind will break under the strain.”  I’ve often thought of those words—even though I may have the quote completely wrong, as I am relying on a long-held memory—but I have begun to suspect that, “To be a writer, you must love writing to the point of absolute fanaticism; otherwise, your mind will break under the strain.”

    I have many friends who are midwives, and through them I have come to know plenty of midwifery students as well.  One thing I learned about the students was that they fell into two categories: those who wanted to practice midwifery, and those who wanted to “be a midwife.”  The first group, by far the smallest, wanted to catch babies, and was made up of women totally dedicated to birth.  The second group consisted of women who liked the “midwifery lifestyle,” i.e. women’s circles, talking about herbs, wearing natural fiber clothing, and eating vegan—all fine things, which those who made up the first group were by and large also fond of, but there was no real passion for birth itself among the latter group.  Those who loved helping women give birth went on to practice midwifery, despite the pain, stress, bodily fluids, difficult hours, poor pay, and scorn of the mainstream obstetric establishment, while those who were just devoted to the trappings of being a midwife eventually went on to something else.

     There are plenty of people I know who want to “be a writer,” but few who actually love to write.  Eventually, the same shakeout occurs with would-be writers as happened with the midwifery students.  In the end, writing isn’t about having a career, being successful—or even publication.  It's like what the wonderful, uncompromising singer Julie Christmas says about music: "There are still people making music just to make sure it's done right." That's what we as writers should be doing.  It isn't about "being a writer." It's about writing.  The satisfaction comes from getting it right, from communicating something you believe is worthwhile.  As Krishna says in the Bhagavad-Gita:

     “Be intent on action,

     not on the fruits of action.”